wow it has been so long since i have been on here last. so much has changed ithas gotten to the point where i reread some of my entries and i feel so retarded for writtin it. you know when you go back and read a diary entry from when you were in the third grade. wow.

yea so i have graduated high school! about damn time eh! in may i enlisted in the ARMY! yea. i chose my job with tyler coming home on my mind. i found a job with a $20,000 enlistment bonus and then i saw the date i was to leave. It only left me with two days to spend with tyler before i left for almost a year. so i pushed the date back a week ONE WEEK and i lost $10,000. well tyler got into trouble and wasnt allowed to come home so i didnt get to see him. Well I left for BCT. I got to call home every sunday. i got to call tyler three times and funny how things work out. He always seemed to busy to talk to his fionce the female he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, the female he hadnt gotten to talk to in 4 weeks. But whatever. Well i got mail pretty much everyother week. Woo i waited and i waited for a letter from the guy that said he loved me so much and the guy that when he was at BCT i would feel like a complete bitch if i didnt get a letter in the mail at least once a week. I got ONE and it wasnt even half a page. Mail is what keeps us soldiers goin when we are in training or in war. Well my graduation of BCT was comin up and well my family was making plans to come down. ma, da, gramma, neat, will and tyler all planned to come down. woo. i was so excited i wanted to see them so bad it was crazy! well family day came and i saw da and i ran into his arms i was so excited to see him. well anyways we got to the truck and still no one had said anything on where tyler was at. we got to the van and he called. he wasnt going to make it because his car was brokin. ok him and will were at the same post (ft bragg only two hours away from ft jackson) and mom and the rest of the family had picked will up from the exact same barracks that tyler stayed in. so yet again tyler missed a hugh part in my life. whatever right. my family was pissed! i just blew it off i knew it was coming to an end. so that night i talked to my battle and she said that if this was how it was goin to be then i needed to end it. i knew that i just need to be reasured ya know. well i graduated for BCT and moved on to AIT. Woo. very exciting. i didnt want to end it with tyler i "loved" him. well i would call him when i was in AIT and nothing he played the same "oh i am sorry that i screwed up. i will make it up to you." and then he would go on with doin what he was doin and not talk to me. well i got sick of this shit. Think about this... i am 19 yr. engaged to a guy who swears that he loves me but doesnt show it. And i am in the army the place for oppurtunity. I am in a job full of guys to chose from. Yea i wasnt gonna stay in this one sided relationship. so i called him one night and told him i didnt want to get married to him anymore. He said he had been feeling the same way. some of my male battles in BCT were telling me that any 19 yr old male that was in the army and had a long distance relationship as long as we had would so be cheatin on the girl back home. so with that said i was in that mind set that he had cheated on me. now i am not sure if he has cheated on me but that was my mind set when i got to AIT. well we broke up and i lived the single life for awhile. It was fun.

Well i graduated AIT and no one came just the way i wanted. Well i flew home and i am living the civilian life. i hate it. well tyler came home at Christmas and we had talked some during AIT. we had planned to hang out while he was home. So we did and we started dating again. STUPID ON MY PART EH!!

well he left for ft bragg again and that was no big deal because i would be down there in a few days to see my brother Will off to afghanistan. we did as planned and spent time together while i was there. saddly i didnt get to hang out with some of my buddies that were there while i was there. Bummer i miss them greatly. well anyway while i was there tyler and i also said goodbye for the last time in person for a year. tyler also was goin to afghanistan. well there we were saying our goodbye.

well for the next few weeks tyler and i's relationship was like it was in the past phone call everynightand not much talking. well i wasnt goin to sit by and let him not talk to me. So i bugged him all the time about talking to me. well he was always playin this damn retarded game that people call WOW. I HATE THAT GAME WITH A PASSION.  well i brought it up to him that i felt like i was having to competing with the for his attention and i was lossing. well he finally realized that this relationship wasnt about him. So the day that he left for afghanistan he broke it off with me.

whatever his loss right. i am over it. so he i sit crushin on a super sweet guy. That gives me attention that i have deserved for a long time. hehe i am bein a girl.

well yea. so that is what i have been up to.

<3 em

well my father is now here. i know by the backfire from the frontyard. It is so werid how well my parents are getting along. They are actually acting like they are friends.

Well that was from a long time ago. Here i sit at my sisters. I am going to her doctors app. with her today. Arent i so lucky. My rents are still being werid.

Well the wedding plans have been put on hold for a while. Things just dont seem to be going tyler and my way. (hey that is good grammer isnt it ha) Everything is great with tyler and i dont let me make you think its not. Tyler is getting homesick and i am getting tyler sick. I havent seen him since JANUARY 2, 2006. Such a long time i hate it. I should be VA right now with him but myride couldnt take me anymore. Grrr... He comes home for three or four weeks (we think) in June so that will be effing awsome.

 Today and yesterday are our one year anniversrey. Okay let me explain. Tyler asked me out on the 13th of April and i answered him that day within mins of him asking me. Well the 14th comes along and he asked me if i had an answer to the whole dating question. Apparently he didnt get my message stating that i was willing to give him another chance. Hum... typical... lol na i love him... i really really love him...

I cant wait to see him. We are going to celebrate our UNO YEAR and DOS MONTHS when he gets home. Gosh have i mentioned i cant wait to see him. Jordan is helping me plan it. I am so excited.

I made the play oliver twist but i think i might have to drop out but I HATE QUITTING SHIT. i am failing my world lit class and well i sorta need that to get the outta here. Yea the play is well okay but i need to graduate more than anything...

my brother comed stateside next month... he is going to fort bragg when Tyler is going to be stationed and where Ryan Adrian is stationed. He of course is coming home first. I cant wait to see him. It is so werid because when he is here i cant stand him but when he is there i miss him like WHOA! Hum...

I am an aunt again and i will be another aunt in oct. Laura is prego.  I cant wait until they are about 3 or four and can talk and call me AUNTIE EM... hehehe...

oh wonderful news the greatest news ever... my family and i are going on vaca together for the first time since my aunt died and we are going to MOICHAN... oh i cant wait. We have been trying to get cabins up there for like three years but never could. we are leaving down here on JUly 22 and will be there till July 29th. Oh i am so excited.

G2G

lotz o love

(8)emma(8)

I got to talk to tyler last night. It made me mad at first because moms phone didnt even ring it just went straight to voicemail. It didnt do that just once, it did it like three times. I was so worried that i wouldnt get to talk to him again. But we finally got ahold of eachother THANK GOD. He told me about his day yesterday. He is getting a tat this weekend if he has the pass status for it. It is creepy as hell. It is going to be in his peck. It is a crack in his skin and there are going to be two fingers sticking out of it and an eye looking out of it. Sounds creepy as hell doesnt it. I think it does. He told me what my wedding band looks like. I love it and cant wait. It is a wrap for my engagment ring (whatever that is. i dont get it.) and it has like three or four emerals on the side of my main stone (which is the heart i have on) I love it. I am so excited. He said he got emerals because he knows green is my favorite color. He didnt know though that emerals are my favorite stone. It is so beautiful and it comes from Ireland. Hum... speaking of Ireland... I asked him where we were going on our honeymoon and he said "well i hope we can go to Ireland" oh mi god... i cnat wait. Just all this planning and talking about the weddings stuff i want so bad to just get married right now. HEHE... i am being a girl.

I miss jordan. I hung out with her on friday and saturday morning/afternoon. It was funny we went shopping friday and we were going to go shopping satuday but just ended up at her house watching Hitch. We are suppose to hang out this weekend again. So that should be fun.

Well i just got informed that i am not really suppose to be on here and i have mythology so i am going to go.

Good day good fellows...

em

well hello hello...

how is everyone? I am okay. My stomach is killing me. OMG...

Well last night i became an aunt again. My sister  and her fiance adopted a... dog. His name is Riley and he is a golden retriver. So cute. I love how you automaticly fall in love with puppies.

I also havnt gotten to talk to tyler for two days. I hate it. Mom is bitching because i talk to long to him. The thing that i dont understand is how the hell are we suppose to plan a wedding over the phone? God it drives me crazy. I really wanted to talk to him last night because he left me a voicemail and he said he had a really ruff day and that killed me. i hate that. If one of use have a bad day we cant just call up the other and talk to them about it unless it is on a weekend he has green or gold pass. (green and gold pass are

well today has been a regular day so far and most likely continue to be that way. I will go home put in a load of laundrey and watch ophra at four followed by the news at 5. I will play with my guitar (which i have no clue how to play because mom didnt get me a how to book) write to tyler then i will proably play some sims... you know same ol same ol... fun fun... woot...

well i talked to tyler last night as always... fun fun but we argued about little shit... like how i was a jerk when i am having a visit from a certain aunt... and how i really really really am against have cake thrown in my face at our wedding and he really really really is looking forward to it.... that really put me over... we fought over cake. not cake itself but what will be done with the cake. everyone in his family has done but no one in mine has done it. So what are we goin to do. Yea before i would have told someone with this delemma to just do it for kicks but now that it is my wedding i dont want it done. I mean it is so old and i am really afraid that if it happens that i wont know when to stop and i will get too carried away with it... that and i dont want it to get in my hair and on my dress... so what to do what to do... any suggestions? that would be marvolous... hum... well we were planning on inviting 300 people but that is alot of freakin people i have come to find out. I mean i only have about 60 some people and that is not including friends. so we may go 75, 75, 75...75 my family 75 tylers family adn 75 friends. well that is about all the time i have today...

good day good people

em